Yukon Cornelius from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - Magnificent Bastard

Yukon Cornelius

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Where Have I Seen Yukon Cornelius Before?

You know that COO from the joint Dutch/Canadian mining company that is strip mining our great country's natural resources? That's Yukon Cornelius.

Though in his earlier years he was known as the prospector from the stop-motion animation, TV special Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.


What We Learned from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Yukon Cornelius

We can accept each other's differences. Even if someone has a freaky, blinking appendage on his/her face.

Unfortunately, the TV special led to the proliferation of two new homosexual dentist slurs, "hermeysexual" and "elf dentist."

As in, "Yeah? Well, you're an elf dentist."

You can vanquish an Abominable Snowman/ Bumble by pulling out all their teeth. It also helps if you push them off a cliff. And no, they didn't blatantly rip that scene off from Lord of the Rings. Having Gandalf and the Balrog plummet off the Bridge of Khazad-dûm is night and day from having Yukon Cornelius and the Bumble plummet over a cliff in the North Pole. Night and day.

Clarice the reindeer is kind of promiscuous.

King Moonracer's a jerk. And I'm not saying this, because he swiped my Skeletor figurine, which I wasn't done playing with, regardless of how little attention I paid it. Understand, King?

A squirt gun that shoots grape jelly, a cowboy that rides an ostrich and an elephant with perpetual chicken pox don't sound like such bad toys to me. Beats 15 years of smashing ant hills with a stick.



Special Commentary on Yukon Cornelius by the Misfit Toy (On the Lam)

Catastrophising Drifter From the Future

I don't have much time to explain, but basically I threatened to filibuster the remaining nominees if Yukon Cornelius wasn't voted in. It was a desperate measure, but....

...shhhhhh....

Did you hear that?

It's King Moonracer. He's circling the valley looking for new and escaped Misfit Toys.

I'm out of here. There's no way I'm going back to the Isle of Misfit Toys and living under that sonuvabitch's rule again.

If you need more details talk to the Ghost of Rutherford Hayes.

Listen, tell Raggedy Ann that I love her and that I'll see her soon.

Hey, before I go, you don't have any money I can borrow, do you? I'm good for it, man. I'll get it back to you.

Okay, cool. Hey, no worries. Just thought I'd ask.

Fun Fact About Yukon Cornelius

Though thought to be prospectin' for silver and gold, Yukon Cornelius was, in fact, searchin' for peppermint. According to Snopes, the phrase, "Mining for Peppermint" is not a metaphor for purchasing cocaine.


Purchase Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer


Loose Ends

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is a classic holiday flick put out by Rankin/Bass. Animated specials don't get any better. It had Burl Ives for goodness sake.

The Hall of Magnificent Bastards is not associated with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Yukon Cornelius or Rankin/Bass in any way, shape or form. This is just parody and satire.


Links to Other Yukon Cornelius and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Pages

Here are some related links to Yukon Cornelius and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Because we have no control over these pages, the Hall can't be responsible for the content found within. Visit at your own risk.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Wikipedia Page
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - IMDB Page
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Rotten Tomatoes Page
Rudoph at Ms. Mindy
History of Rudolph at Snopes
More History of Animated Rudolph at TV Party


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Memorable Quotes from Yukon Cornelius and the Gang

Hermey: Hey, what do you say we both be independent together, huh?
Rudolph: You wouldn't mind my red nose?
Hermey: Not if you don't mind me being a dentist.
Rudolph: It's a deal.

-

Yukon Cornelius: Fog's as thick as peanut butter.
Hermey: You mean pea soup.
Yukon Cornelius: You eat what you like and I'll eat what I'll like.

-

Rudolph: But you fell off the edge of the cliff.
Yukon Cornelius: Didn't I ever tell you about Bumbles? Bumbles bounce.

-

Yukon Cornelius: We'll have to outwit the fiend with our superior intelligence.
Rudolph: How?
Yukon Cornelius: Douse your nose and run like crazy!

-

Yukon Cornelius: You're going to stay with me and we'll all be rich with the biggest silver strike this side of Hudson Bay. Silver.
Hermey: I thought you wanted gold.
Yukon Cornelius: I changed my mind.

-

Santa Claus: Great bouncing icebergs.

-

Yukon Cornelius: Open up. Isn't a fit night out for man nor beast.
Yukon Cornelius: Here's the man
Yukon Cornelius: and here's the beast.

-

Yukon Cornelius: Observe the bumble's one weakness... The bumble sinks! Ha ha!

-

Yukon Cornelius: Whoa. Whoa. Unmush, will ya?

-

King Moonraiser: A toy is never truly happy until it is loved by a child.

-

King Moonraiser: Come closer. What do you wish?
Rudolph: Well, sir, we're misfits too, and we'd like to live here.
King Moonraiser: I'm afraid that would not be possible. You see, this island is for toys alone.
Yukon Cornelius: How do you like that? Even among misfits you're misfits.