Where Have I Seen Nate and Hayes Before?
On the high seas, pillaging.
Or from the movie, Nate and Hayes.
The movie focuses on the life and times of one Captain Bully Hayes. Captain Hayes is an extraordinary swordsman, seaman and strategist whose path crosses a missionary named Nathaniel, who looks suspiciously like Noonan from Caddyshack. After a rough beginning, the two join forces to recover Nathaniel’s fiancée from a cabal of cannibals and Germans.
Swordplay, pageantry, German naval battles, modified pit traps, and zip-lining ensues.
Little Known Facts About Nate and Hayes
Nate is a missionary/pirate. How cool is that? And no, sorry Desmond, World of Warcraft doesn't offer that character class combination.
Hayes used to go drinking with Jean Lafitte and William Kidd. The three roughed up Captain Jack Sparrow one night after Sparrow kept mumbling to them at the urinal while they were expelling grog.
Nate and Hayes planned to save Kidd from the gallows, but scrapped the plan after they couldn’t find a suitable location in London to set up their zip-line.
What We Learned From Watching Nate and Hayes
The bo staff/ blade combination utilized by the asian privateer caused quite a stir in some circles. Specifically, small groups of acne-ridden adolescent boys who equipped the new weapon with every subsequent Dungeons and Dragons character they D6ed into existance. It also lead to a massive uptick in the use of the phrase “freakin’ awesome.”
The German Navy was pretty kick ass in the 19th century. With a little effort they could have ramped that up a little earlier, colonized some poor souls and subjected them to a couple hundred years of malevolent, nude sunbathing.
Zip-lines can get you out of any tight situation.
Pit traps are an excellent way to protect your homestead, castle or cannibal island lair.
Nates and Hayes most certainly "inspired" the writers of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
Don't trust Ben Pease.
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