Hawk (from Buck Rogers) - Magnificent Bastard

Hawk from Buck Rogers

Hawk (from Buck Rogers) T-Shirts:

Eject, Porkins Shirt

Eject, Porkins
Biggs Darklighter does not give bad advice.

Jek Porkins Shirt

Jek Porkins
Rebel scum or portly lover? You decide.

I DeathStarred Alderaan
 

Where Have I Seen Hawk (from Buck Rogers) Before?

He never said much, but this silent space assassin and good chum to Captain William "Buck" Rogers, could be seen on the second season of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.


What We Learned From Hawk and Buck Rogers in the 25th Century

Hawk is half-man, half-shadow, and half stern-looking dude with a toupee made out of eagle feathers. (Think Spock with a spotted shower cap.) That equals 150% killing machine. Or something like that.

Twiki is the Flavor Flav of the future. Though it would be a drag to schlep Dr. Theopolis' heavy, flashing head to and fro.

"Twiki, twiki" is either fightin' words or a snarky remark. It's the future's version of the word "smurf."

The beds in the 25th Century rock. You just lie down and immediately fade off into sweet, sweet dreams of Colonel Wilma Deering.

Whether you're Walker Texas Ranger or Buck Rogers, no one ever expects the roundhouse kick.

Note to self: Pitch TV movie where rift in space-time continuum makes it possible for Walker Texas Ranger and Buck Rogers to be ass-kickin' sidekicks.

Wilma *f'ing* Deering!



Fun Facts About Hawk from Buck Rogers

Snopes can't confirm nor deny, but we have it on good authority that Hawk was very likely a bird-friend with "privileges" to Colonel Wilma Deering.

Before he met Buck, Hawk hunted humans, the most elusive of all prey.

Flew a very bad-ass spaceship fashioned after a hawk and included retractable talons. Reports of the phrase "2 Wycked" being airbrushed on the side of the spaceship haven't been confirmed.

Plummeted from nest at a very young age. Luckily, he was found, nursed back to health, and trained in the deadly arts of the assassin by Shaolin Space Monks.


Special Commentary Related to Hawk (from Buck Rogers) by the Catastrophising Drifter from the Future (In a Bobby Hat)

Special Commentary by the Catastrophising Drifter from the Future (In a Bobby Hat)

Catastrophising Drifter From the Future

Well, they nailed it.

The future *is* like a bad 1970's disco/morality play.

All the chicks are attractive and don't have faces ravaged by radiation burns, the robots are helpful, funny and don't collectively hunt humans for sport, and New Chicago is clean and doesn't have that problem with the Ebola and those Tremors-esque worms that clearly enjoy consuming man-flesh.

Your future is bright, 21st Century. So bright, you outta wear shades.

Specifically, wear them in an underground bunker with recirculated air, a fifteen year food supply and ample reading material.

Good day.


Purchase Buck Rogers in the 25th Century


Loose Ends

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century was distributed by Universal Studios. We loved this series as a child and that hasn't waned one bit. What with the action sequences, the foxiness of Wilma Deering and Princess Ardala, and the light moments with Twiki and Dr. Theopolis. Well worth checking out.

The Hall of Magnificent Bastards is not associated with Hawk, Buck Rogers, or Universal Studios in any way, shape or form. This is just parody and satire.


Links to Other Hawk and Buck Rogers Pages

Here are some related links to Hawk and Buck Rogers. Because we have no control over these pages, the Hall can't be responsible for the content found within. Visit at your own risk.

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century at Wikipedia
Buck Rogers at IMDB
Buck Rogers in the 25th Century Fan Site
Another Buck Rogers Fan Site
Buck Rogers Intro @ Youtube
Old School Buck Rogers Radio Broadcasts
Buck Rogers at TV


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Memorable Quotes from Hawk and the Buck Rogers Gang

Twiki: Eat lead, sucker!
Dr. Theopolis: Lead? What lead? Twiki, what are you talking about?

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Commander Corliss: Have you ever been in a fire, Rogers, or should I say have you ever been ON fire?
Buck Rogers: No, I can't say I have.

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Commander Corliss: You fool, that's an ancient signaling device.
Buck Rogers: Get the message?

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Brigadier Gordon: I've been doing this since before you were born.
Buck Rogers: You think so?
Brigadier Gordon: Son, I KNOW so.

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Buck Rogers: Nice costume, Tigerman. You going trick or treating?
Princess Ardala: Defiant. I always like that in a man. What did you think of my ingenious invitation?
Buck Rogers: I was swept away by emotion.

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Kane: Shall I order the ambuquad disassembled?
Twiki: You ever have TWO broken arms, buster?

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Twiki: I'm freezing my ball-bearings off!

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Buck and Twiki running amid explosions]
Twiki: Taxi! Bedeep bedeep bedeep! TAXI!

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Buck: Get out your card decks and backgammon boards, lucky Buck is back!

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Princess Ardala: Tomorrow I conquer Earth!
Kane: Tomorrow WE conquer Earth!

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Dr. Theopolis: It's quite... expressive.
Wilma: It's disgusting!

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Twiki: What a body!
Princess Ardala: Who's your cute little friend?

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Buck: Very ballsy.
Wilma: What?
Buck: Never mind.

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Buck: Fine. Your place or mine?
Wilma: What was that? What did you say?

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Buck: Well, I'm scheduled for execution and if I miss it I could be in a lot of trouble.

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Buck: ...I think I'll have that drink now.

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Draco: What in the name of the realm is going on? You are attacking while my ships are still hours away?
Kane: I'm... just following orders, sir.
Draco: And just whose orders were you following?
Kane: Your daughter's, sir.
Draco: And did she order our ships to disintegrate as they enter battle? If either of you survive this greatest debacle our realm has known, you will answer to me!

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Buck Rogers: Sometimes you get hurt no matter what you do. You can’t let that stop you trusting people.

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Buck Rogers: Everybody gets hurt, but everybody doesn’t hurt everybody.

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Dr. Huey: A young man’s promise made to himself is sometimes a difficult thing to live up to.

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Buck Rogers: You’re never more nostalgic than for the things you once knew and have no more.

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Buck Rogers: Love isn’t something that two people can try to make happen. They either have something very special or they don’t.

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Buck Rogers: It’s impossible to pick up the past and try to relive it. All I can do is try to make the best of what I’ve got here.

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The Lamajuna: There is no such thing as death. There is only… change.

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Ambassador Duvoe: The seats of power can be lonely places.

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Odee-X: We must not dull the appetite for a zestful life.

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Ambassador Duvoe: Dreams aren’t only for children, are they?

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Demeter: A race of people blindly subservient to a custom is not a race of people at all, but a race of slaves!

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Twiki: BeDeBeDeBeDeBeDe