Dean Wormer from Animal House - Magnificent Bastard

Dean Wormer

Dean Wormer T-Shirts:

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Biggs Darklighter does not give bad advice.

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Where Have I Seen Dean Wormer Before?

Well, you obviously didn't attend Faber College. If you had, you surely wouldn't have forgotten the strict disciplinary stylings of Dean Vernon Wormer.

Since you didn't attend Faber, you may have seen him in the hit 1970s documentary "Animal House."


What We Learned from Animal House and Dean Wormer

Toga parties are an unwholesome activity.

Pray that you never wind up on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION.

Faber College's mascot is the Mongols and its motto is "Knowledge is Good."

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.

If a horse dies in your office, the only way to remove the equine corpse is by utilizing a chainsaw.

If you want to steer clear of the Dean, your fraternity may want to rethink its plans of dropping a truckload of fizzies into the collegiate swim meet, delivering med school cadavers to the alumni dinner, filling the local florae with underwear every Halloween and making the toilets explode every Spring.

Hell no, it wasn't over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

Don't get mad, get even.

The following song makes the ladies swoon: "I gave my love a cherry / That had no stone / I gave my love a chicken / That had no bones / I gave my love a story / That had no end / I gave my... "

Deans' wives are easy.



Fun Fact About Dean Wormer

Dean Wormer's Great Grandfather went by the name Fletcher and had quite a few run ins with the legendary outlaw Josey Wales.


Thoughts on Dean Wormer by the Ghost of Rutherford Hayes

Ghost of Rutherford Hayes

Sure, Dean Wormer comes off as a dick, but can you blame the guy?

I mean, you have to address the academic failings. That's part of the job. And the Alumni sure as hell aren't going to put up with medical cadavers at their yearly dinner. So, you have to drop the hammer on that and the other pranks. Throw in having your wife make a cuckold out of you with one of the Deltas and finding the corpse of you favorite horse in your office and who can blame the man for his Double Secret Probations and his single-minded drive to shut down the fraternity. I sure don't.

You don't mess with a man's horse. You just don't.

Anyway, that being said, Dean Wormer was voted in as a legacy.

Specifically the legacy of Fletcher's phrase, "Don't piss on my back and tell me it's raining."


Animal House Shirt


Loose Ends

Animal House is the copyright of Universal Pictures and one of the better comedies in the history of film making. We at the Hall couldn't recomment it more.

The Hall of Magnificent Bastards is not associated with the Animal House, John Vernon, or Universal Pictures in any way, shape or form. This is just parody and satire.

RIP John Vernon


Links to Other Animal House Pages

Here are some related links to Dean Wormer and Animal House. Because we have no control over these pages, the Hall can't be responsible for the content found within. Visit at your own risk.

Animal House - Wikipedia Page
Animal House - IMDB Page
Animal house - Rotten Tomatoes Page
NPR Story on Animal House
Animal House Feature at Acme Web Pages
Wikipedia Page for John Vernon


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Memorable Quotes from Dean Wormer and the Animal House gang

Katy : Boon, I think I'm in love with a retard.
Boon: Is he bigger than me?

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Babs : Greg, honey, is it supposed to be this soft?

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Dean Vernon Wormer : Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?
Greg Marmalard: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way.
Dean Vernon Wormer: Cut the horseshit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.
Greg Marmalard: You're talking about Delta, sir.
Dean Vernon Wormer: Of course I'm talking about Delta, you TWERP!

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Boon : Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude.

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Hoover : We're in trouble. I just checked with the guys at the Jewish house and they said that every one of our answers on the Psych test was wrong.
Boon: Every one?
Boon: Those assholes must have stolen the wrong fucking exam!

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Dean Vernon Wormer : The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.

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Dean Vernon Wormer : Mr. Kroger, two C's, two D's and an F. That's a 1.2 grade average. Congratulations, Kroger. You're at the top of the Delta pledge class. Mr. Dorfman?
Flounder: Hello!
Dean Vernon Wormer: Zero point two... Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta house? One point six; four C's and an F. A fine example you set! Daniel Simpson Day... HAS no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu - Mr. Blutarsky... zero point zero.

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D-Day : War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough...
Bluto: the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go!
Bluto: What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer...
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto: We're just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let's do it.

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Jennings : Don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He's a little bit long-winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible.
Jennings: But that doesn't relieve you of your responsibility for this material. Now I'm waiting for reports from some of you... Listen, I'm not joking. This is my job!

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Doug Neidermeyer : How does it feel to be an independent, Schoenstein?
Boon: How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer?

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D-Day : There were blanks in that gun!
Flounder: I didn't even point the gun at him!
Bluto: Holy shit!
D-Day: There WERE blanks in that gun!
Flounder: Maybe he had a heart attack.
Bluto: Holy shit!

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Flounder : I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.
Boon: Face it, Kent. You threw up on Dean Wormer.

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Hoover : They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!

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Dean Vernon Wormer : Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation!
Otter: What a tool.
Dean Vernon Wormer: I didn't get that, son, what was that?
Otter: Uh, I said, "What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules."
Dean Vernon Wormer: Put a sock in it, boy, or else you'll be outta here like shit through a goose.

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Otter : Point of parliamentary procedure!
Hoover: Don't screw around, they're serious this time!
Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law.
Boon: I thought you were pre-med.
Otter: What's the difference?
Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did.
Otter: But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

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Bluto : TOGA! TOGA!

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D-Day : Hey, quit your blubberin'. When I get through with this baby you won't even recognize it.
Otter: Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You fucked up - you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help.
Flounder: That's easy for you to say! What am I going to tell Fred?
Otter: I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and in the morning, it was gone. We report it to the police, D-Day takes care of the wreck, the insurance company buys your brother a new car.
Flounder: Will that work?
Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.
Bluto: My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder, he's in pre-med.
D-Day: There you go now, just leave everything to me.

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Jennings : Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel.
Boon: How long you been workin' on it?
Jennings: Four and a half years.
Pinto: It must be very good.
Jennings: It's a piece of shit. Would anyone like to smoke some pot?

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Dean Vernon Wormer: Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit just like you.

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Hoover : Will you tell those assholes to shut up?
Boon: Hey! Shut up you assholes!

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Dean Vernon Wormer : I hate those guys.

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Greg Marmalard : But Delta's already on probation.
Dean Vernon Wormer: They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!

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Doug Neidermeyer : And most recently of all, a "Roman Toga Party" was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

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Otter: Sophomore dies in kiln explosion? Oh My God! I just talked to her last week... She was going to make a pot for me.